With My Whole Heart I Cry?

"With my whole heart I cry;
answer me, O Lord.
I will keep your statutes."

(Psalm 119:45, New Revised Standard Version.)

Ah, but is not this "whole" the whole heart of the matter? I read this verse, for myself, not as a declaration but as a question. "With my whole heart I cry?" Do I approach the Lord, do I seek the Lord, with my whole heart? I cannot confess that I do. I stifle beats. I hide chambers. At least I try to stifle and hide. Whether successful or not before the God of the universe (including my own little sphere), I try. And thus I do not cry with my whole, with my core self. Before the one in whom I live, move, and have my being, I labor to think and act as if I could withhold and conceal cells and movements within my heart, within me. What nerve have I then, that I approach the Lord with the request that he answer me, with the proffer that I will live as I should live, if he will respond to me as I think he should?